Coming to the end of year 2009. Awesome. And what have i achieved? I did my due diligence of volunteering for the NKF. Not to mention, i started to slack soon after getting involved. Not good.

I am still in love with Recruitment, and i am working very hard towards my goal of being an awesome recruiter.

I visited Samui, Macau, Hong kong, and went for a huge feast at Perengang. Crabs, lobsters you name it. For a meagre sum of 35 bucks. YET, i still feel i needed some more life.

Maybe deep inside, i missed the booze, the party, the crazy dudes. Im not gay.

I started to hit the weights again, and i always fall off the bandwagon 1 month into the game. I never keep up. And i still love myself. I don’t know why. In exchange, i clocked in more hours of beauty sleep to reward myself for being such a good kid.

I failed my ippt thrice, and i never attend my RT. I am looking forward to a golden letter from mindef very soon. I havent trained for my 2nd window of ippt. And i still am not worried. I read a horoscope of my zodiac this morning, and it was accurate. My balls froze, and they said i would get involved legally with fines here and there. I just got fined for drinking in the MRT. How nice. I paid the fine.  And i remembered your name. Suhaila. You trashy lil customer service officer. I hope you burn in hell.

Wedding bells ringing, my pocket is hungry. Batam trip coming up, zouk out too. I don’t know what to expect. But i think i’ll be fine.

Cos you know what.

Im fuckin tired. And im goin to bed.

That’s my awesome 2009. Love

 

Oh, and i love my girl.

 

Do you give up?

Do you self pity?

Or do you stand up to the challenge?

In times of shattered teamwork, do you step out of the picture to assume more security, or do you stand up to the challenge?

In times of uncertainty, do you doubt, or do you trust your abilities?

FIGHT ON.

I’m happy that the undying VE spirit is still deeply instilled in me.

I’m happy to be one of those distributors 2 years ago, and i’m happy to have learnt from the great.

FIGHT ON. JUST FIGHT

I’ll die at most if it all fails. BUT.

BUT WHAT IF IT DOESN”T FAIL? WHAT IF I DON”T DIE?

Deep within me. I feel this undying fighter, screaming to get out. To get out there to prospect, get out there and bring in the damn numbers. Get out there and do it.

At most i close my eyes, numb my nerves. That way, i don’t feel the pain. That way, i keep pushing.

Just like bodybuilding.

The universe is telling us something. You don’t fail if you keep pushing, if you keep trying.

You fail when you stop trying.

FUCK THIS SHIT AND DO THE WORK. SKO! Move it .

I’ve been training really hard nowadays. And fuck yea. I think i really needed this. I feel like a piece of useless slab of fat when i do no shit about exercising.

Yes, i’m back to watching aunties sashaying their huge butts on the threadmill. It’s not only refreshing, it’s fulfilling.

Hours after hours spent in front of the computer seems to have an effect on me.

I feel myself behaving like every other social robots. I seem to have lost that special ‘click’ and control over myself.

It’s freakin scary. And i guess it’s time to head out for a cool “hang out ” session with the boyz.

Just the other day, i met one of my course mates from KAPLAN. We chatted for 1 hour, and i had to rush for gym after that. Fuck you bitch. But i learnt something.

=)

Surprising, YES. He was really knowledgeable with regards to spiritual development. Within a short 1 hour conversation, that of what i had learn was unsurmountable by any form of reading.

With laser like accuracy, he had proven that we as humans..have all forgotten our roots.

We curse, we swear, we blame, we complain. And worse, we blame others for our own misery. We do not actively work on ourselves. We do not actively create a relationship with ourselves.

And if we do, if we do talk to ourselves at all. …its almost in a self beating way. Self victimizing, self sympatize. And we’ll never be happy. We’ll never find peace. It’s never ending.

Thoughts are frequencies the naked eye cannot see. And it manifests itself in reality.

And it makes good sense to have good thoughts about ourselves, and others.

And he pointed out that we humans have failed to genuinely forgive and accept. For one to keep this resentment hidden deep within themselves, their literally killing themselves..softly, slowly.

We never like to see people succeed. And that is the human ego for you. In an attempt to feed our ego, in essence feel better, we bitch, we curse, we do nasty things to people.

It’s a war we will never win. Because this is a war within ourselves, with ourselves.

The war of the ego, of insecurity.

Respects to you my fren, Foo.

May good things befall you and your family.

Its funny how our perceptual filters assume the truth in all life situations. Whatever we see and hear will form the the truth in our own perceived map. The map is not the territory. Yet, all of us failed to understand.

We always base our thoughts and views on the map we have. Our surroundings and happenings have an impact on how we view things somehow. Granted, we are given the correct map. It makes no sense that we are given a map of Singapore if we are traveling in Malaysia. Which alot of us, including me are guilty of. We are often given the wrong map. By our parents, friends, or even colleagues.

During my short 2 day course at Kaplan, i experienced something thought provoking. I was given a brief  ’special intro’  from a course mate on his colleague, who was also attending the same course. This “special intro” is non other than an underhanded compliment. Which in this case, is an obvious gossip about his colleague. Great. Interesting i thought. Just say he is fucked up if you would. Don’t beat about the bush. But anyway, i noticed myself starting to form a perception of him. EVEN without any interaction with him! Ouch. Im sorry i did. But i did. I decided that i have to speak to him anyway. A networking session to build a list of contacts i thought..why not? Appalled, i realized that the guy was genuine, sincere and above all, competent in his own ways!

I WAS GIVEN THE WRONG MAP TO BASE MY PERCEPTIONS ON..by someone with a small heart.

I’m sorry dude, for judging you..but we are gonna hang out for coffee like we mentioned ya? Haha.

I’m experiencing a downturn and yet i am not afraid. I am experiencing experienced people leaving for career advancement, yet i am not affected. I question why. I should be afraid cos i prolly do not have the kind of knowledge or experiences that they had. I should be afraid cos i haven’t learn enough from them. I should be afraid cos i am alone. I should be afraid of so many more. And yet i am not.

I feel cold blooded that i actually managed not to display any emotions. It just seemd like a normal working day, as if nothing had happened, as if the crisis hasn’t hit. Empathetic, yes i am. Happy for their choice to move to greener pastures, yes i am. Dissapointed that they left when all we need is their expertise and support at this point of time, yes i am. Emotions running wild.

There is no constant, the only constant in change.

I have to always remind myself of this. Just like how i have integrated this teaching in my life. And like Stephen Covey says, we have no control over 10% of what happens in our lives, but we have total control over the 90% of how we react to them.

I feel stupid when i reacted with sheer dissapointment when an experienced person leaves the company. But it sure feels so much better when there is someone out there to listen to you. I was talking to one of my female colleague previously, and she has been a great listener. Not sure how it would affect her views and motivation levels, but having the opportunity to understand where another person is coming from is sheer pleasure. You get to stretch and expand your realities. You get to force yourself to be in the shoes of another. And you get to see the same thing, but from a totally different perspective. Again, proving that the map is not the territory. We might be looking at the same destination, but we might not be holding the same map.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. And i know with the kind of knowledge and experiences, you will settle for something bigger and better.

Something i learnt during my course, is to clarify. And yes, i am again guilty of it. Many a times, through related info, we misrepresent. In this case, my job. We misrepresent interest. Core of the problem? Info is passed on from someone else, instead of the main person. And perceptions start to form. Be it good or bad, it is still bad communication. It seems that clarification is a chore. But it does has the make or break effect, don’t we all agree?

Before forming a perception on something, shouldn’t we clarify? Yes.

A collegue at my workplace seems to have issues communicating her point across, and often coming from a point of aggression. It sure doesn’t feel good to have someone screaming in your face does it? I was rather affected by it, given that i demand a certain level of respect. And same to everyone. Pure emotions govern me the right to retaliate with aggression. Nice right? And the fight goes on.  But then again, things took a change when i started asking myself.. “Did she have a bad day?” “Is she stressed out? ” “Is she having relationship problems?”. So on and so forth. Yes, but that doesn’t govern someone to react this way does it? True. But what can we do about it? We control the 90% of how we react. Giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, it makes things easier.

I’m surprised at how much my temper has simmered down throughout these few years of growing up. And for all i know…..i prolly might be able to give up everything i have now, and start practicing how to live life like a zen master.

I’m thankful for all i have now. I’m still doing my fair share of volunteer work, however..not so much as i had expected. Hahah. My patient seems to be having so much more happiness and fun than i am. Change role! LOL

I am also thinking of joining the volunteer police to be of service to the public. I don’t know, we’ll see if time permits me to go for the 9 month training. New things are coming into my life, new changes, new experiences.

Love thyself, love all.

2 weeks away from civilization proved to be absolutely fine with me. Surprisingly. Having completed my first high key ICT, i feel so much more useful. I used to dread getting dirty and stinky, especially after my discharge from the course i was doing. It wasn’t a fair one. Having lost so much trust and feeling dissapointed about the military especially after that incident, i thought i can never feel that adrenaline rush anymore. That feeling that you are special and is the lifeline of your country, feeling all so proud to defend it.

I felt it again. It was different this time though. I felt it as a civilian.

The camaraderie experienced during the short 12 days was indescribable by words. Judging by first impressions, the guys looked just like your thug next door. Never would you expect them to be as efficient as bees collecting nectar. They truly cared.

Granted, there were weird ass guys out there who kiss ass where ever they go, only to dissapear when we needed them the most. Those were exceptions, and should not even be mentioned when the rewards are sowed.

I enjoyed it, and am looking forward to my next one.

I was recommended to go for course by the OC for my next ICT. That, should be an awesome experience i suppose.

Back at work, i had problems adapting and fine tuning myself back to the environment. After all, getting sweaty and lying on grass patches were still kinda enjoyable, compared to counseling funny people on their career paths.

Yes, ICT is a holiday.

A few things happened recently, and it ain’t pleasant. Instead of viewing it as a wake up call, people don’t seem to give a heck about it. It just feels like another car crash on a busy day to them. At least that’s how i feel. And instead of finding ways to improve, people are finding ways to run away. To disassociate themselves from the involved. Sad to see it happen. But it is. Humanity at its lowest. Can you say selfish? Words going through my ears, racing through my throat, leaving a huge lump, and ending with a dead knot in my heart. That’s how i feel. I want to call them immature, but then again, who am i to judge? You are your environment. And with nonsensical bullshit scrambling across the room, how can you not be affected? Subconsciously that is. And with negativity coming out from one single foul mouth, how can you not affect the people around you? And indirectly prompting everyone to run away, who is guilty? The escapist or the foul mouth?

I feel suffocated every time i step into the room. Because i don’t hear nice things. Because i don’t hear positivity, much less see. Because i don’t hear professionalism. Because i don’t see maturity. Because i don’t see selflessness. I see a clear line drawn between. I see no team work. I see hidden arrows and daggers beneath words exchanged. Call me sensitive. But my solar plexus tightens every time it happen. It takes a rotten apple to make the others taste bad. It takes a slip of tongue sprouting insensitive rumors about how a female colleague wants so badly to flirt even though she is married to create discomfort in her. It takes little things to create little resentment. And it builds up from there. Jokes aside, some are meant not to be said. While some are fun to. We just need to know our limits.

Fuck survival. Who cares about survival? You either live or you die. But when you die, you make sure you die with a logical cause. We are all born to be a sacrifice. Survival was never in our books. Thus, it would make so much sense to give selflessly. And if you don’t, you reap the rebound effect. And especially when companies aren’t doing very well now, it makes so much sense to give selflessly and figure out ways to stand up again. Not retreating into our small lil comfort hole, and hopefully finding some other stronger shelter to hold us. It will not only prove how timid and selfish we are, it also proves our stupidity. Some say it is stupid when you give selflessly, since nobody would give a damn about how well you do. Well, if one thinks this way, it creates a vicious cycle altogether. Law of attraction my man. You give selflessly, while making sure that you are self sustainable.

I hate to say humans are born fucktards. But well, reality speaks.

In times of abundance, people share. And in times of crisis, people only care for themselves.

Something that i’ve learnt, is to do to your hearts conscience. That which will kill you in the long run is GUILT. Fuck job security. Nothing is secured. Your life isn’t secure, so quit thinking about job security. And let me tell you what is secure. Your heart.

Should you leave your job now just because you feel that your job ain’t secured, and you’ll be the next one axed. Kill yourself. End your misery.

With a mindset like this, you will be forever chasing security. Nothing will be secured. Will there be a possibility that you be one of those pillars of support to turn things around? Yes. In times of crisis, a bunch of chopsticks work so much better than a single pathetic one.

I duno man, i just feel that things could have been so much better.

Well, it’s a matter of mindset again. You are not what you think, but how you analyze your thoughts..

Stay true always.

Yes i did. And it costs me $188. The package came with a puny 1 kg powder laden extinguisher, otherwise known to be the “power pack” one that can kill almost any kind of fire and a smoke mask claimed to be made using NASA certified technology.

$188 on a tight lil jacket that will promise to peacock me into a superstar wannabe, maybe. But a fire extinguisher? WTF was i thinkin?

I still couldn’t believe the kind of decisiveness i displayed yesterday. And boy was i impressed. It was a grueling lesson by the way. I had goosebumps almost throughout the whole talk. With the help of pictures and videos, the product basically sold themselves.

I am not a typical singaporean. I am thrifty, yes. But i spend when i need to spend. At the back of my head, i was blaming my boss for organizing the talk. That only meant money flying out of my pocket. But then again, we can choose not to buy. But when something hard hits your solar plexus, you literally don’t have much of a choice. It’s either a yes or no. Yes, you invested in saving your own damn life, and yes, your family’s. No, you are basically sitting on luck. And it’s FINAL DESTINATION time.

I thought i was filial. In fact, pictures of my mum scrambled all over my mind during the talk. The fire, her all alone at home..it was plain scary. But i soon realised, i was also afraid. I was selfish. I was doing it for myself. To ease my fear of losing temporarily. But seriously, where do you draw the line?

You only have one life, one smart choice. The pain of watching the cash flying away was painful, but definitely not as painful as watching your loved one burn.

Today was an angry day. My fossil watch got scratched badly *in my terms*. Not by accident, rather by stupidity and irresponsibility. The bugger basically walked with his arm flinging wildly in the air. And before i knew it, the damage was done. IRREVERSIBLE DAWG!

I hope his watch hopefully a Rolex caliber,got damaged badly than mine.

BIATCH!!

Every morning without fail, i see people queuing up at the MRT elevator, standing dangerously close to the entrance. They had no passion, no life in their eyes. They looked hideous and..erm..evil. I duno man. It’s a fight or die thingy i think.        But…but..it’s just another empty space in an elevator. NO?  Take another one then. AND NOBODY USES THE STAIRS? WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE????! Insanity at its best lah dey.

And everyone rushes. FO FUCK?! And it is scary when you realise they are being oh so controlled by the environment. The rush hour, the over crowded MRT, the angry boss in office waiting to prowl on you the minute the clock ticks over 9am. The FEAR. The FEAR of Death. In evolutionary terms..yes, the fear of death. And this fear is basically illusionary. No? You are in fact having fun scaring yourself every day. FO FUCK?

It is crazy living in such society. At times, i just feel like not giving a damn. And yes, i still don’t anyway. And just the morning before, while reading my new book on the train, i had a snap-out-of-it moment.

Why didn’t i take a moment to enjoy and appreciate the lush greeneries, cute little birds, glorious sunshine and so much more every morning??

I was one of them. One of those walking zombies.

Can you imagine how fucking stupid and ashame i felt? And surprisingly, taking a moment to pay some attention to all these morning glory details actually made me feel so much more refeshed and happy.

I knew it wasn’t all about taking the same old train, preparing for the same old *i want to scramble and find a seat* war, shutting your eyelids when the train starts moving until it reaches your destination *for those who overslept, god bless*, and what not.

It will make your life miserable. Or maybe your view of life itself. It made me sick, disgusted. And it still does.

I chose to force myself to stay awake, read a little bit of my new book, pause for a second to look at people in the morning, look at the trees, look at the newspaper auntie, and give myself a pat on the back for surviving yet another day.

We are missing out so much in LIFE. We are being so internally absorbed that we don’t pay attention anymore. And that is sad.

But sometimes i blame the society for draining so much of my energy that i am left with no choice but to sleep my time away. FUCK Society. LOL

I lost track of my new year resolutions..somehow. But i am still doing my deeds with the National Kidney Foundation though. I went for an outing with the NKF staffs and its patients to the zoo. Paid entrance, paid food. Free sun, great fun.

It’s time to get back on track and mow the lawn. Remove all those sprouting weeds, and conquer this fucking world!

Peace,

Was traveling along KPE on a normal dying Singapore Monday. And guess what?

Traffic Jam

Pretty impressive i must say. KPE has always been the “secret no jam expressway” among clever drivers ever since its official opening. And ever since its exposure on the papers recently claiming to ease traffic congestion, i guess it must have triggered the ‘monkey see monkey do” effect on Singaporeans..FINALLY.

“OMG, new expressway! Sure no Jam! Must use!

And everyone flocks over, deeming the other expressways redundant.

Pretty predictable. Look how the media subtly controls the human mind.

Huge, huge epiphany over here my man. Should you be able to realize, people follow blindly…it is all so easy to verbalize. But the effects of witnessing it live is something that will add extra ammo to your reality and the way in which your thoughts organize..that’s if you are someone who constantly self reflect. Not the media’s fault by the way. And then comes another epiphany..YOUR PERCEPTIONS.

Too many complains, too many pathetic validation seeking excuses such as “i don’t know, i feel so upset and miserable, i feel so helpless, it’s all her fault, i’m not to blame bla bla bla.” You don’t hear Einstein yelling about how he could have failed and it wasn’t his fault right? The universe, the field are all your teachers. People just do not trust themselves and their first hand experiences. They are often looking for reference experiences from other folks to justify their own. If they could just trust their own instincts, they would have learnt so much.

Irregardless of your academic qualifications, your wealth, your looks, routine puts you into a time vacuum where everything seems to be what it is. And you just float through life either feeling all so miserable thinking that you have absolutely no control over what happens, or worse…YOU DON”T EVEN REALIZE THERE IS A PROBLEM.

There is no explanation, it just happens. Really?

There is no explanation because your reality isn’t expanded enough. There is no explanation because your perception filters are not active.

A fighter creates miracles. A cancer patient fights all odds and ends up surviving, often living better than they were previously living. WHY?

Their realities are forced to be stretched, their perception filters are forced to be turned on. Their survival mechanisms are forced to “wake the hell up”.

And should you be able to refrain from allowing social conditioning to dictate how you live your life, you will be a much happier person. That i am sure.

Think before you accept a new belief. Be willing to change. Be willing to explore and be willing to fail. Failing is the expressway to success.

Without meeting failure and looking him in the eye, you will have little to no feedback from your enemy. Your enemy here is yourself. The ability to sidetrack and doubt what your egoistic self wants you to do will provide you a chance to explore and stretch your reality. Challenge yourself, contradict yourself. For more contradiction allows more questioning. And more questioning allows your perception filters to do their job. And you grow.

Growth is slow, yet steady.

With the hoo and haas going on nowadays with regards to the dying economy…i have since harnessed the ability to tell myself that it is nothing personal, and i ain’t to blame for the crisis..but today..i witnessed absolute shame.

Off i went, to get my lunch takeaway. Still deciding what to eat..as if i don’t already have enough stuffs to worry about, i decided to beat myself over it, while seemingly gloating over it and being self delusional..that i have an awesome lifestory that i’m writing everyday. Yes, an adventure it may be..but i just had to rant about this.

Customer service is seriously overhyped here in Singapore! Finally placing my buck on this weird lonely looking economical rice stall at this small funny corner of the coffeeshop…i decided i shall settle for variety. Screw her. I thought of being a super samaritan again, and hell i got what i deserved. It was super obvious that not a single soul patronised the stall, out of the boatload of corporate workers having their meals there. And i just had to be that one guy. Sheesh.

All i can once again confirm is..what goes around comes around. You deserve only what you give out.

She had an awesomely gloomy face, no smile, pretty much an angst up grandma. You get the drift. She looked 40 btw. I vow to never go back there again.

To cut a long story short,  i had 5 pieces of puny sweet and sour pork, which eventually turned out to be fried flour. 3 Pieces of pathetic tiny brocolli, and a few pieces of uncooked cauliflower. 4 Pieces of over cooked beancurd, and an overflowing amount of white rice and curry. She actually had the cheek to pick the dishes piece by piece, choosing the smaller pieces and replacing the pork with tons of onion. IN FRONT OF ME.  WTF is that?! Oh and to top it all off, she willingly gave me so much curry that it kinda overflowed. Yes i know..trying to cover her evil deeds ya? To make it all look so yummy?

Now i know why she didn’t had any business. And yes it was my fault.

And i learnt a huge lesson today. So simple yet always overlooked.

“Always stand by your principles, no matter the nice lovey dovey things people may say”

And with people not speaking up and doing anything about this, we’re just rewarding inappropriate behavior and allowing it to thrive and become a norm.

It never is cruel and inconsiderate. It is just fair. You get what you deserve. It is karmic action. And whatever you receive, you have no one to blame, but yourself.

The chapters of life just keeps unfolding..i love it. =)

After teaching for sometime, and being the superman in dissecting human relationships, it feels truly painful to see my friends and students stumble upon their new found social skills..and get hitched with someone totally out of their league, and intellectual capabilities. Ouch. Walk away lah dey! But  anyways…

With standards, you’ll do so much better. Too many hurt people, too little quality. It’s pretty random, i don’t really post stuff like this all the time..simply because i’m lazy. But for the fun of it..here goes…

1) Watch their language/actions. You can tell how they are like from the way they communicate, non-verbally/verbally.

Some Red Flags

- Men/women who criticize excessively…Ahh..the one who will eventually allow you to admit you need psychological help.

- Men/ women who over compensate verbally/non verbally. As if trying to cover any void in the interaction

- Men/women who offers to buy/treat/do excessively nice things for you, when there isn’t any investment on your part . Are you stupid or what?  Men have been buying sex for way too long. So recognise this. Now you know, dun say you aren’t warned. Many men will hate me for this..LOL

- Men/women who talk too much, often time an indicator of a lack of EQ.

-Men/women who do not keep up to their words. Lack of integrity. Dun start being paranoid though. People don’t change radically..as long as he/she shows a willingness to change ..and there are improvements..give em a chance. Else, walk away.

- Men/women who blabbers about herself non-stop. Face it. He/she isn’t interested in you. But herself/himself. Huge red flag. Might turn into an energy vampire. Sucking off every single lil droplet of energy in you to satisfy his/her own ego. In short, insecure.

- The world is your mirror. Watch how he/she treats the people around him. Mainly strangers. Does he/she mock at other people excessively (criticize), or does he/she extend compassion?

- Run away from men/women who are constantly in the victim mindset. These people will often times feel awesomely miserable to the extend that they wouldn’t mind overdosing on sleeping pills. They see their life through a dysfunctional pair of glasses. Often times, pretty badly warped reality. In short, a huge blamer. And hey, they cry alot too. =) RUN

- Uptight men/women. These people cant take underhanded compliments/jokes. The super Kan jiong spider, over imagine freak. Often times taking themselves way too seriously and personally. Would you want a gf/bf to exercise scream-a-thon in a shopping mall? Find one of these if you might. God bless.

- The gold digger. Especially efficient in using emotional blackmail. ” But you are a guy! You should be a gentleman and pay!”. LOL, sad…

- The excessively talkative. They can’t handle awkward silences. Often times, high maintenance shiats.

- The over commitment freak. Often times with very structured and solid values. Nice, but..OVER. These can be recognised through their constant verbal arrows to you. On subjects like marriage, saving for a house when you have only been hanging out for 2 months.

Well, will update more if i can think of any.

Too many in the list. LOL.

Stay safe, and run faster.

“The willingness to stop blaming and accept responsibility for one’s own actions, feelings, and belief” – just how many of us are not guilty of it? I am. And i am seeking ways to change for the better.

As quoted by a renown psychoanalyst – “As long as cause and responsibility  are projected outside of oneself, one will remain in the powerless mode of victim-hood“. Blinded as may be..many of us do not recognize this dysfunctional and obviously destructive behavior. We may talk about it, we may complain, but we never recognize it as a problem. Simply because it is just too common in our modern society. It has become self-evident. Self-evident as “normal”. We have since lost constructive values and beliefs to serve our human population.

I have always been envious of extraordinary people who were able to willingly give themselves up for the goodwill of others. The practice of compassion and selflessness. I never once had an answer in the past. I never once knew or question “WHY”. Simply because i was lazy. I was only interested in the makings of things that will directly affect my lifestyle. It was so insignificant to me that i could easily pass it off by rationalizing the fact that it probably is just me thinking too much, or allowing myself the chance to unconsciously degenerate my self worth by saying ” Aiyah, they are saints, i’m not. They are different, and i am not as noble as them”. But as time goes by, i started to witness a common joy and peace that these “noble people” experience. And i started to question. Why, how?

Accepting love and non judge-mental forgiveness as a lifestyle, exercising unconditional kindness to all persons, things, and events without exception. A common characteristic among the great. And truth be told, there is nothing such as an impossible. Everything is possible. And it all depends on our own willingness to let our ego and pride down, to accept new information. And then can knowledge be digested and let crystallize. And if i were to quote the most destructive characteristic of human behavior on top of all, i would say it will have to be the resistance to change. The slow and painful experience to realize that all is but an illusion is a gruelling process. And that explains why there only is 1 Napolean Hill, 1 Ghandhi among billions of people. Different levels of consciousness.

The way to learn is not through impersonating and taking on the techniques and behaviors of highly enlightened individuals, rather their beliefs. And it’s back to fundamentals. Many just wouldn’t want to make the effort to go through the pain. The pain associated with acceptance.

Even if somebody did you wrong, you are still free to choose your response and let resentment go. When one makes this commitment, he begins to experience a different, more benign world as his perceptions evolve.

Oh well, it truly is very painful. Been there, done that. How could anyone still be able to smile and extend their appreciation after being horrendously berated? It seems impossible. And for the highly unconscious folks..”are you god? Siao ah. If it’s me i scold her back already!”. And don’t you realize it’s a vicious cycle of verbal abuse, of ego war? I’ve been reading alot, and it seems that the only way to handle this issue, is to practice compassion. And the reason for anger to surface is often due to us not looking at the issue objectively. Not understanding why. Even if it was due to them not being able to control their emotions and unintentionally lashing out at you. Compassion must be practiced. Compassion rendered to them for not having the resources to organize how they feel. And by looking at it impartially without our own emotions in the mix, wouldn’t it feel less terrorising? Yes. But seriously, what has been hurt? Our pride, our ego. That has been hurt. But pride and ego are just illusions of feelings which are only evident in our own mind, ain’t it? We control what we feel? Ain’t it? Yes. And feelings are still feelings you ask, why do i have to suppress and make myself miserable by controlling? You only suppress and control when you do not have the necessary resources to deal with the issue. You only feel like you have to lash out and complain when you do not already know what else to do. And you needed that extra validation to reassert your ego that you are doing fine. And then, how are you able to have that resource? You find. You search. You source. And once you are able to understand, you will be able to accept. It has been scientifically proven that thoughts are alive. And destructive thoughts play a part in your emotional well being.

Why do we have to remove that sensitive part of us that is already god given? Why do we have to de-sensitize ourselves and devoid ourselves of feelings? We don’t. We simply choose. Just like the way we choose our careers and how we lead our lives. We have a choice. Freedom of speech and choice is god given.

“All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.” – United Nations Universal Declaration Of Human Rights

It is an impartial way of handling emotions, that many of us will have to learn. Including myself.

Maybe all shall take a breather, slow down and resist the urge to be a blind follower.

Its funny. Seriously! The next time you’re standing at the traffic junction, allow your awareness to radiate around your surrounding. And then you will start to realize it feels as if everyone is waiting for someone to take the lead, to press that damn button, or just be a good example…JAY WALK. And when you start Jay Walking, one follows, and the next ..I’ve witnessed blind followers following me and nearly lost their lives. God bless them.

To allow a super side track, i witness the dumbest thing a human being can do this morning.

*Squeezing into an already exploding MRT cabin*

Yes, it is dumb. But funny when you think about it. People have since lost their sense of logic. Common sense. I don’t know. I’m weirded out.

And yes, i’m playing a part in “Circle of hearts”. There goes my New Year Resolutions!  I’m stoked. But i ain’t gona stop here.

http://www.nkfs.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=21&Itemid=23

It’s gona be awesome. Oh yea. ROFL

Peace and love,